i used to dread waking up in the morning only to face another exhausting day trying to keep everything clear and orderly. a task which always led on to the next day. i was never finished. i feel so proud of myself ( releived that life seems so serene lately.) with two young children in the house, that is quite an acheivement.
i won’t pretend it was easy to do. i have been trying to acheive this state virtually for ever!
there was only one difference this time. I was dtermined to acheive results! the most noticable change i made in my home was the removal of all window dressing. down came all the curtains in a matter of minutes. Phew this felt such a relief its difficult to comprehend.
never completely understanding myself as to why it would make such a difference in my life.
yet it seemed the obvious solution to feeling trapped insade a cocoon ful of useless things.
dont get me wrong buddas things representing the peace i was looking for were all there on the shelves window ledges and even on the floors of my home. Trouble is they were among papers drawings,sketches/ self development books bills, and letters waiting to be answered. Totally overwhelming me.
well quite often to try to acheive the peace i was looking for i would go and meditate in a “quiet” place. Lots of times l saw flashes of me clearing my wardrobe shelf with one sweep, before actually settling down to a more productful meditaion.
l even tried once or twice to do this.” Right clear the clutter” il told myself. l did not realise however that each time i did it, i was only scrtching the surface.
its only recently that i have become ruthless and even while throwing out lots of things guilt would always be prevailent. The thought of wasting things went completely against my nature.
I had made a decision however, and was determined to carry it through. Mi9nimalism, here l come.
I have come to realise that this is a never ending process. But the blessed rewards l have gained has dtermined that i will never reclutter again.
I like this freedom too much. What a lovely way to start the day with new breath.